GODLY MEN ARE THE ANSWER!

What if the biggest crises in homes, churches, and communities trace back to one thing—men choosing absence over presence? We dig into a bold claim: when godly men stand up, get connected, and stay in the fight, chaos loses its grip and real order returns. Not control. Not posturing. Presence—spiritual formation, emotional stability, and steady, faithful engagement.

We take apart the lone-wolf myth and show why isolation is a setup for defeat, not a badge of honor. Through real stories and biblical models—from Jonathan and his armor-bearer to Moses with Aaron and Paul’s ministry team—we reveal a pattern that holds across time: men rise in connection, not in hiding. You’ll hear the practical difference presence makes: homes gain security, churches gain strength, communities gain resilience, children gain identity, and marriages gain endurance. And we don’t sugarcoat the pushback—stepping forward can be misunderstood as control, but retreat only opens doors to passivity and spiritual drift.

You’ll leave with a simple framework to rebuild connection in the right order: God first, then honest self-understanding, then brotherhood, then family, then your wider sphere at church, work, and community. We share tangible steps to start today—join a men’s group that tells the truth, have a weekly check-in with a trusted brother, pray with your spouse and kids, and set small daily rhythms in Scripture and prayer. If you’ve felt the pull to isolate, consider this your call to show up. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a brother at his side, and leave a review to help other men find their way back to presence.

Chapters

• 0:01 The Mission To Build Godly Men
• 1:49 Presence Brings Gain, Absence Brings Loss
• 4:20 What Disconnection Looks Like
• 7:32 Brotherhood Over Isolation
• 10:45 Biblical Models Of Connected Men
• 13:20 Order, Responsibility, And Spiritual Authority
• 16:05 A Framework For Reconnection
• 19:02 Commitment, Prayer, And The Call To Action

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Godly men are the answer for every crisis in the world. Welcome to the Koopalethis Podcast. Welcome to the Coupeleethis Podcast. I'm Nick Kupaletis, your host, episode number 30. I am so glad to be with you. This is a podcast that is geared towards men but for everyone. And in 2026, I'm on a mission. And that mission is to equip men to become the men of God that they have been called to become. Not just to motivate them, not just to entertain men, but to see men transformed, men who are being built from the foundation up. And so we're going to do that together. And I'll just tell you this over the last few years, God has been building something in me, and I want to share that with you. There's a great ministry called Brave Co, led by a courageous man named Jason Ballatin, and he has a phrase, and in that phrase or tagline for the ministry, it says this build the man, strengthen the family and fortify the church. Build the man, strengthen the family and fortify the church. And listen, you can't fortify the church without building men. You can't strengthen the family without building men. And I think we've tried to go at this building the church and transforming the world. And we've tried to go at it so many different ways. Great evangelism, great youth ministries, children's ministries, worship. But friend, we need to focus in on men because when we focus in on men and men get a hold of the Lord, it changes everything. And so we're going to be talking about that. And so let's jump into this episode 30. Let's jump into it together. Godly men are the answer for every crisis in America. I know I've said it, I'm going to say it again. And it's not because men are superior and women are inferior. We have been called to co-reign with women. This is not about domination. This is not about annihilation. This is not about the male patriarchy ruling the world with an iron fist. This is about men stepping into their God-designed role and walking it out and being who God's called them to be. And for this to happen, for men to be the answer, there is something that needs to happen deep inside of them, a decision to be present. I want you to hear me. A decision to be present. Present means this: that they are willing to be spiritually formed, that they are willing to be emotionally stable, that they are going to be grounded in God's word, connected to community. Because here's what happens when men decide to be present. This is what happens when men decide to be part of the answer and not the problem is that there is gain and not loss. And I just want to say this if you're a man listening to this, there is gain for you being connected in. And I'm not saying it's going to be light work, it's going to be hard work, but I'll tell you what, there is gain. Do you know what happens? Is that homes gain security, churches will gain strength, communities will gain resilience, children will gain identity, and marriages will gain endurance. Why? Because men decide to stay in the fight. Listen, we got to get in the fight. We got to get into it. We gotta take our brass knuckles out and say, we are sticking with what God has called us to stick with. We are gonna fulfill the mission that God has given us. Here's the issue: when men are present, instability floods in. When men, or let me say, not when men are present, when men are absent, instability floods in. Chaos floods in. The demonic comes through the front door, back door, windows, and the demonic always brings destruction. See, when godly men are present, order returns. When godly men are not present and they're absent, there's hell to pay. There's this great proverb, and it says this when the righteous rule, the people rejoice. But when the wicked are in power, the people groan. I want you to grab that for a second as a man. When you are ruling, doesn't mean I'm not talking about control, but when you're in your rightful place, there's a rejoicing that goes on. And this is what the statistics talk about. When fathers are present, when men are present in culture, there's gain. But then the proverb goes on and says this when the wicked are in power, the people groan. And when wicked are in power, that means there's an absence of righteousness in God's goodness, in God's design, in places of power, there's a groaning, there's a breakdown, there's a destruction. Just like when men are present, there's a gain. When men are absent, there is a loss. Homes lose security. Churches lose strength. Communities lose resilience. Children lose identity. Marriages lose endurance. You hear that? When we are disconnected, when we are not present, it's loss. And it's more than a loss, it's a destructive loss. Now, I just want to say this to you, as you're a man, do you bring gain or loss to the environments you've been called to? If you're a family man, do you bring gain to that family or loss? If you're part of a church, do you bring gain or loss? Are you present or are you absent?

unknown: 5:57

Right?

SPEAKER_00: 5:57

That's what we're asking. Are you present in family? Are you present in your spiritual community? Are you present on your job and your work? Are you present or are you absent? Not do you have full control, not do you have the title, but because you don't need a title to be present. You need the will to show up to be present. And maybe you're listening to this and you're saying, I don't feel present. I'm probably more absent. Listen, there's a beginning of a journey to go on for you. And at first, you're gonna feel like it's a lose-lose situation. You're gonna begin to step forward, and there's gonna be there's gonna be insecurity that arises, there's gonna be a lack of confidence that's there because you're gonna say, I want to step forward, I want to grow in being present. And there might even be some people that look at you and go, Why are you trying to be so controlling? Why are you trying to dominate? There's gonna be a pushback, but I'd rather push forward into health and wholeness than to step back. Because the other thing is when you step back, guess what happens? You're passive, that's where the doors open, you're absent, you run from the challenge. And so you really have, you really have to choose what's going to be your heart. Going forward is hard. I'll tell you what, the consequences of going back is even harder. And so let's even dive into this a little bit more. Because biblical masculinity isn't about domination and it isn't about withdrawal. It's literally about being present with God and with the environment that he has put you in. Let's press on this a little bit more. The crisis that we're seeing in men, it's not a lack of intelligence, it's not a lack of strength, and not a lack of potential, it's not a lack of information out there. Thank God for podcasts, thank God for books we can read, thank God for all of that. It's not a lack of things out there. I think if anything, it's understanding what absence means. Because listen, if I can build a business, but I can't build my family, I'm missing something. If I can encourage somebody on my job, but not encourage my own kids or my own wife, I'm missing something. Your success begins in your heart, in your home, and then the world outside of that. And so when we say absence, what are we saying? We're saying we're disconnected. Jason Vallaton, he also says this, and he talks about marriage like this. You see the world through connection, or you see your marriage through connection and disconnection. See, men, we're not failing because we're incapable. We're failing because we're disconnected. We're disconnected from God, we're disconnected from the world around, we're disconnected. And probably I would just add to this as I'm thinking about it, is that we're connected to the wrong things. But disconnected looks like this emotional disengagement with the ones that we love, spiritual passivity, reluctance to step into responsibility. And this is a big one. I think this is a real tell for men. This one right here. This is how you know you're absent or you're disconnected, is that there's social isolation from the brotherhood. The brotherhood, what's the brotherhood? Godly men. Godly men. And when there's that isolation, I think that's a huge tell. Man, we had an awesome um men's ministry last night. Our leader, Jason Walton, led it and preached and did such an incredible job. And I was so proud there was a man that he had scheduled something else for um instead of the men's meeting. And um it wasn't something vital per se, but it was something that instead of doing this other thing, which he would have been blessed doing it, it's not a sin issue. I'm not talking about that. He understood the importance of connecting with other men. And so he rearranged his schedule to be at the men's meeting, and afterwards he came up and he said, He said, Man, I'm really glad that I'm here. And I would just say, if you're listening to this and you're a woman, you want your man to be connected, right? You don't want your man to be disconnected. You want your man to be connected in your marriage, you want your man to be connected with your kids. Well, the way that men will get connected in the home, and I'll talk about this more in a moment, is that they get connected into a brotherhood of godly men. Not a bunch of knuckleheads, alcoholic, porn-driven, lust-driven, greed-driven men. I'm talking about godly men, not perfect men. There's no perfect man, no perfect woman, but men who have a heart for God. Because here's the thing: we know this. When connection disappears, man, things fall apart, as I've been saying. Because you can be physically present, men, but not emotionally present. You can be physically present, but not spiritually present. How many wives have dragged their husbands to church? And yes, they're there in body, but not there in spirit. And so what we're talking about here is that godly men are the answer to every crisis in America, meaning men who are present with God, present. And here's what the enemy has done, and this is strategic, and this isn't intentional. The enemy has weaponized disconnection against men. Men who are isolated, he's weaponized. He's weaponized that. And he's lied over and over. He's built this kind of this ethos of lies around men. It's like this is what it sounds like this. This is what it means to be a real man, to be an alpha, to be a lone wolf. That and and there's something in us men that we want to be heroes, we want to fight the dragon, we want to slay it, we want the credit for that. And so we, oh yeah, I'm the lone wolf, I'm the one that can do it. And we start to believe this lie, but here's the reality. Yeah, there are times that we have to stand alone. And if we have to stand alone, you better believe we will stand alone. But God has designed men to be shoulder to shoulder in battle, just like Jonathan in the Bible with his armor bearer. Those two send a whole army pretty much to flight. Those two killed 20 Philistine soldiers. Those two, two men shoulder to shoulder, in mission together, accomplished something that a bunch of disconnected men, disconnected spiritually, could not accomplish. Don't believe the lie, man. Don't believe the lie that you're going to succeed and still be disconnected. Don't believe the lie that you're going to be something great all by yourself. Because that's not like a legacy. You know what that is? That's right, you writing your own story. And so I want to encourage you in this that look at isolation as a weakness and a setup for destruction. Instead of it being a lone wolf, you really end up being what? You're like that lone little baby zebra, and the lions, the hyenas, the predators tear that thing apart. Tear that thing. That's what happens to men. They get torn apart. We've all had that. Men don't rise in isolation. Men rise in connection. Pretty much every hero scripturally you see another man in their life or a community around them that helps them rise. Yes, you have the occasional David vs. Goliath story that David was the only one. But even in that, there was still somewhat a culture within Israel that God was great and that men should be men. But most of the time you see others around. Like this. Moses, what did God do for Moses? Gave him his brother Aaron to be in. Even Paul, yes, there was times when Paul was alone in the New Testament, but Paul gave him Timothy and Barnabas and others around him. Now Jesus ultimately had to fight hell in isolation. He did something that none of us could do. He was a man's man, and he went into that place of isolation and even disconnection. God, God, why have you forsaken me? He went into that place to defeat the lie and defeat the enemy so you and I would never be disconnected from him again. There is always connection. And you might be like Elijah, right? Elijah, he has great victory, and then all of a sudden, what does he say? Ah, God, I'm the only one. He's depressed, he's tired, he's weary. God, I'm the only one. And what's God say? No, no, no, you're not alone. There's still 7,000 that have not bowed their knee to Baal. You're not alone. Here's what I want you to get. And I want you to get this in your heart. Godly men are the answer for every crisis in the world. We'll continue to push on that. And it starts with you, and it starts with your belief in that. It starts with you understanding that God has anointed you and called you and He has brought you out of darkness to shine his glorious light. And I think as men, we need to ask ourselves some serious questions here. And they they're around are we present or are we absent? Are we connected or disconnected? And I would say it like this too like you could you could look at a priority list, and the first question is, are you connected to God? Are you connected to God? Because if you're rightfully connected to God, you'll want to be connected into community. You'll want to be connected into the brotherhood. And I would say this to you. Hear me, this is such a gem right here. I wish somebody said this to me a long time ago. Your marriage should not be your only connection point. I did hear something like this that I'm thinking about a long time ago, but not this spin on it. The first connection for a man should be with other godly men. If possible. You say, Why is that? Because godly men will be an example at the very least, and at the very best, they'll be an example and teach you how to be a better man, a better husband, a better father, a better whatever sphere of influence you're in, they'll teach you how to do that. It's so important that you have a connection. So when we have when we're connected to God, because this is God's heart in the scriptures, we'll be connected to the brotherhood, we'll be connected to our church, we'll be connected to things that are outside of us, and that's an important thing too. If the only thing you're connected to are people who celebrate your personality, your power, your money, your influence, you're not connected to health. You're connected, you're like Saul. You're praising yourself, you're building an idol for yourself. You have to be connected into community where men see you not for your accomplishments, but for who you are as a person. And so that first connection is God. And then I'd ask you, are you really connected with yourself? The Bible says two great commandments are what? Love God and love people as you what? Love yourself. I don't think we know how to love ourselves. Are you connected with your emotions? I'm a man, I don't have emotions. That's an emotion you just gave me. Your little anger right there, that was an emotion. Don't be afraid of your emotions. But are you connected to yourself? Do you understand why you get angry? Do you understand why you turn to pornography and not to and not to wholeness? Do you understand why you're struggling? Do you understand that? Do you can you see that? Can you diagnose it? And a lot of men, you don't know unless somebody shows you how to do that. And if you're in that place, this is not condemnation. This is so we can observe how we're living. And so I want to be connected to God, but I want to be connected to myself, understanding why I'm feeling, why I'm thinking, the things that I'm thinking. And then after that, am I connected in my marriage? Am I connected to my kids? Am I connected to my church, the business or the sphere of influence to make finance and money? Am I connected to those people? Or do I just view everything as consumer and not producers? Am I, is it, is all of that just for me, or am I in that environment loving and blessing others? Am I connected to them in a in a real holistic way? And so we can think about connection that way, looking at our relationships, looking at the roles that we're in and going, am I connected, holy, or am I absent? Am I disconnected? What's the friction in these environments? What's the what's the problems that keep arising? Do they stem from me? Am I part of the solution or am I part of the problem? Because again, I want to say this because I want this in your heart so bad. Just like unzip your chest and put this right into the beating heart. Godly men are the answer for every crisis in America, every crisis in the world, every crisis. When godly men stand up and be who they've been called to be, the world around them flourishes. Do not think that the attack on the enemy on men, to belittle them, to degrade them, to destroy them, is not tactful by the enemy. The tactic of the enemy is to take away the pillar of society. God created Adam. The Bible actually says this, right? That God created Adam, and then Paul tells us that sin came through man, it didn't come through the woman. Sin came through Adam's passivity and his disconnection. The woman was deceived, yes, but it was the man's responsibility to kick that serpent out of the garden. Man, we have too many serpent serpents in the garden. And as we begin to take ownership of our own life, as we begin on this journey this year, you know what's gonna happen? You're gonna be transformed. And as you allow your soul to be transformed, the world around you will be transformed. This might be the beginning for some of you. This might be the middle of the journey for some of you. This might be you've walked this way for a long time, but together we are gonna see transformation. Together, we're gonna get in the fight. Together, we're gonna see our world impacted for Jesus. Why? Because we said, God, teach us how to be connected. Father, in the name of Jesus, every man that's listening to this, Lord, are they present or are they absent? You know, and they know. God, I pray that you would show us our blind spots, and Holy Spirit, you would lead us and teach us how to be connected men. Father, in the name of Jesus, amen. And if you're listening to this, you are the resistance.